Was talking to my CG member yesterday on MSN... and the Truth suddenly dawned on me... that Wes will not be able to spend as much time as before with me...or be around for me as often anymore... which is in a way True....

My friend also said... I have to bear with it sometimes... cuz Wes may not be able to give me the attention I need in the near future... and I will know what he means soon.... and that time will come when his career is on track.... and that I need to be understanding....

He also said... that Training phase is often the most tiring and Time consuming... it will be a Test for both of us... Pull through and we both will be Long Lasting.... of cos, I will be understanding and wait for Wes.... but sometimes I can't help but miss him so much.... Sigh....

These few days I have been feeling really down and moody and sad and alone and stressed... but there's no one to go through these darkest moments with me.... I feel so empty and helpless... Sigh....

I know I need to endure... I guess if I'm able to pull through this difficult period, I will be stronger than before... and we both will Truly Last long....

Life isn't easy for me at all.... It is so difficult to stay strong... But I believe God will pull me through... and Love will see me through... Though I can't see God, and I can't see Wes... but I know God is always with me... and I can feel Wes's love for me in my heart... which is helping me to fight on in life....

Almost 1 week have passed since his enlistment day... but it feels like Eternity.... it feel as if I have not seen him for such a loooong time.... Dear... do u know how much Tears I've cried for u... Can u feel my pain... sigh...

Wes told me that every night he has been praying for me... and I was really Touched when I heard that... I have also been praying for him everyday... and I guess Faith and love is what that is keeping both of us strong...

Dear... I really miss you... My world has changed completely without u around.... I can't seem to find the light in the midst of this darkness.... so many things have happened without u around... Everytime I try to stand, I fall again... My nightmare is just so real... How I wish this nightmare will be over soon....

God, pls pls help me to pull through this difficult period of my life.... I really need Your strength... All I need, and want, is just one Touch from Heaven.... + + +

I Just feel so lost... and alone... suddenly.... but I must be strong... I need to be strong... I guess I need more time to adapt to this change.... The only constant in this world is change... The time has come... where both of us have entered into another phase of our lives... I need to accept it...

I know I can't be strong by my own strength... I need God's strength to pull me through... No one will understand how I feel de... People must be thinking... its only going for NS right?.... Whats the big deal man... But... my world is a dfferent world from others.... What I have been through and am going through, not everyone knows....

And perhaps the reason why I'm missing him so much... is because its True Love between us... where our Hearts are linked as one... Where he feels my sorrow, and feels every Tear that I cry...

I know he's rather excited for it... because it has always been his dream to be a diver... I know God will watch over him and cause him to excel in his unit...

The Time that I spent with Wes for the past few days were the most precious and memorable... we went to play at the swimming complex at Jurong last Thursday... first time I have been there... it was very fun... played at the Lazy pool, the Wave pool, the slides....Then on Fri we went to the zoo....

It was fun looking at the Cute animals, and just spending time together... The last time I went to the zoo was like when I was in primary school... The zoo changed quite alot... The past last 3 days we spent time together watching movies... Boys over Flowers Final, Bangkok Dangerous, 12 Lotus, Wall E...

Thinking about those Past memories I really miss Wes alot alot... I know I will be so lonely without him.... sigh.... Just now when I sent him off He gave me one last hug and kiss... and as I saw him walking away and waving from afar, suddenly I just felt so lost....

As I'm typing this, I just can't help but cry... Recently I was just wondering why Wes never call me anymore at night.... last time we used to chat very long on the phone at night.. but recently he stopped calling me...

I thought maybe he's busy playing games or exercising etc and forgotten abt me.... but now I know the reason.... he told me is cuz he's helping me to adapt to the change when he enters the Navy... where he cant call me and talk to me as often anymore.... so recently he stopped calling me so that when he enters Navy the change won't be so big for me.....

I dunno why... suddenly I just feel so alone... and Lost.... I guess I love him more than I thought.. Ever since he came into my life he has been my closest kin and companion... When I'm with Wes, I feel secure, and happy... suddenly all my pain and troubles will seem to go away....

Now... my Tears just keep falling when I think of Wes... I just can't help it... I guess I need more time to adjust... I know I need to be strong... This is Life.... and Life is not a bed of roses... I really pray that God will protect and watch over Wes...

Things just aren't the same anymore without Wes by my side... I have to be strong.... Wes is not there anymore to lift me up when I fall, cheer me up when I'm down, and hold me Tight when I'm scared...God, I pray for the strength to press on in life...

I miss you dear.... I will wait for you... x3