MY STORY

-* Angeline & Wesley *-
31.12.07- The day our Love story has Just begun
Welcome to My Blog
This is where u see the Real AnGeLiNe
My Hidden world of Secrets & Pain.
A world u'll never understand.
A world where there's so much Beauty in Pain.<3

*PRINCESS*

<3 Angeline*--FallenAngeL--Wes <3
-Look for the girl with the Broken smile`
Goodbyes will always Hurt,
My Memories will always bring Tears.
There's a world inside of me,
That you can never see.<3
Somewhere in this Darkness,
There's a Light I can't find.
Some days in My Life,
Im still struggling to Fight on.
I Long for that Special one,
To Kiss Me in the Pouring rain.`<3
I Long for that day,
When I can finally see the Light...
Take My hand, Hold me when Im scared,
Love me when Im gone...<3
All The Sufferings that we've gone through and am going Through, Love will keep us strong.
Dear, I LOVE YOU.

CHATTERBOX

Sexay

Amorous Nocturnal Goddess Exchanging Loving and Intense, Naughty Embraces

DA TIME

BroKen

-HER MEMORIES

August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
March 2009

Friday, August 31, 2007

Emo Princess

Yay...Tmr(Fri), I mean Later no school... =)...can sleep late le... Past Few days so Tired... I tried Very hard To keep myself awake during Lectures, but I still dozed off... Hahas. Lucky the lecturer never see... Heh. Today Had 3 lectures straight in a row!.....no wonder I will fall asleep. LoL... On Wed(29 Aug) was Wenjie(Daniel)'s bday! I rushed down from school to Causeway Point To celebrate his bday with my CG.... Had a Fun time chatting over the dinner table...=) After that, we went to shop ard For our cg member's bday present. We went To a wallet shop, 77th street, Mini Toons To look around. By That time was already almost 10pm.. & the shops were closing... so we went bk. But when we were leaving, Beeleng my CGL wanted To talk to me. So we went to KFC and sat there... she was talking halfway when a group of teenagers beside us started exchanging words with an old indian lady. It was so funny la.... Hahas. I think the indian lady also abit mad one cuz she started scolding them first.... Then we shifted table. Then I found a wallet on the floor... and Beeleng say report To police. After that, a guy came to find his wallet. He was v happy & grateful when we returned iT to him.... =) Hahas so many interesting Things happen.....=) Ok... back To wat BeeLeng said.... Actually I am quite disappointed..... Because Beeleng wanted To promote me To OM in church.... But PsT said give me another 3 more mths To prove myselF..... =( *Sigh*.... Then Beeleng told me abt How she had dreams... and only after 10 yrs she was able To live her dreams.... she was able to play keyboard on stage, lead worship on stage too! wow...... And she believes that I am also able To Live My Dreams.....+ And wat Beeleng said was right............ Because oF My Broken PasT, My Hurts, My sTruggles, The Dreams That I once had have been Broken....... smashed......... & Now Im still unable To let go oF mY PasT, my pain. Im still unable To accept MyselF now... My body, the way I look..... And BeeLeng said... I need To sTop Living in The past.... and she said she believes in Me... That I can overcome My struggles, and change My circumstances... She believes that I can Live My dreams, that I can reach The DesTiny God has For Me.... + & She also said I need To make more True Frens that will Help me, Frens thaT I will be loyal To, whom in Turn will Then be Loyal To me.... + I also Believe, No matter wat my dreams are, I can Live My Dreams.... oF cos I have many Dreams... since i was a child I have always been inspired To be a Model, or Singer, actress, Dancer.....I Love To be in The Limelight, Because I loved The Glamour oF The entertainment world. I also Thought oF being an Air stewardness before, because They are so elegant & Pretty... Hahas. That's Why I like To watch all Types oF Talent shows such as Star search, Project Superstar, Campus Superstar, Star Idol, Star awards etc. Hahas... Maybe Those Dreams are not down-to-earth, BuT I believe there are no limits & boundaries To Dreams..... BuT as I grow up, and as My Life goes thru all the storms & valleys, I have losT Hope in Myself, in Everything........ BuT Those dreams will always staY in Me..... + + + Thank you Beeleng, For Believing in Me... Thank You For having FaiTh in Me. I Believe one day I will overcome My struggles, and do myself Proud... Just as wat u Told me wat Joyce Meyer said, ' For all the sufferings I went through, God will give me back double blessings....' + God, I place My dreams in YouR Hands..........+ + + + + +

Emo Princess

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Dear God... Im Feeling so sad and angry right Now... Even as Im typing, Tears keep Flowing.... I really hate my family... I hate them for Hurting Me... Why? Why is my mum so biased? She always side my sister and always scold me. The whole family all likes my sis more. Especially my brother. Even when I never offend him, He is always againsT me. For nothing He will scold me hurtful Things and bang on my room door so many times. On the opposite, he's very nice to my sister. Its's so unFair.
I don even Feel Loved or accepted in This Family at all. Thay don't undersTand me at all... I Feel so sad, so LosT, so disappoinTed.
I really dunno how LoVe FeeLs like aT all. ReaLLy....
Maybe I don really haTe them, I hate myseLF! How I wish I can go back To the pasT. I really haTe How I Look Now, My body, everything! And lasT time pple gave me more attention. Last time I was skinny. LasT time I liked my body.Last time I was in Cindy's CG and was very close To her. LasT time I feel That My ParenTs, CindY, all Loved Me more. Its all DifferenT now. I hate Myself, I hate my Family. I think I hate myself more Than my Family. And the worse Thing that can happen To someone is The lack oF Love, the Feeling oF being rejecTed and The Feeling Of being unloved & unwanted. And This is how Im Feeling Right Now.... And That crazy Bro jusT Bang on My door again. I got a shock lor !!! Im conTrolling mYself noT to shouT !!.........
Why do I have To hide all My Pain & Hurts in mY HearT?......
Im so Tired oF mY liFe, oF pretending To be happy, oF pretending Im ok.......
I Really Feel so aLoNe....
And I really miss my ex CGL Cindy... LiFe's so unFair To Me. IM so Tired oF Living... I wish I can go To Heaven soon... where There will be No more Tears and Hurts anymore. + + + + +

Emo Princess

From this week onwards Tutorials sTarT Le... so going To be very busY in schooL..May not have enouGh Time To blog..But hope I can find time... Heh. But i Have a 3 day week... hahas so not so bad la. But i think i still need to go bk To schooL on mY free days to do Proj work...Haizz.. God i really need YouR Wisdom & sTrengTh....+
On LasT saT, 25 AuG was The Campus SupersTar Finals!! so cool... The contestants from the 1st season of Campus superstar came bk To perform! And also ProjecT superstars NaT, Jeremy, Jeff, Carrie, Lesheng, LingYi and Carrie also caMe to perform... =) I love NaT lor...He's so shuai and cuTe =) Hahas. Anyway Shawn Tok emerged as The champion oF Campus suPerstar 2!!! Actually I also expected iT, cuz He sinGs v well, and has alot oF supporters!! And somemore he's the youngest contestant !!! He's sooooo cuTe la.... Feel like giving him a Hug. Heh. =)
AcTually, I miss Going To MediacorP To watch Superstar....Lol. =) The Top 4 contestants put up a great show! The Top 4 are Zhengning, KeeLy, Benjamin and Shawn. I love aLL oF Them !!! They are so very cuTe, Young and Talented.... Zhengning can Dance so well.... her Dancing is simply Hot la!! =) Keely is very cuTe and can sing very very well... while Benjamin is a GreaT singer wiTh GreaT Looks! =) Tho Shawn is only 13 yrs old, buT can he can sing so well already.... and He's so cuTe too... =)
Tho they are young, They are My InspiraTion.... because They were bold enough To pursue Their Dreams.... And acTually Im sTill a child aT hearT....& I Love cuTe kids aloT.. Heh =) And I also Love To sing. =) At such a young age, They already become sTars... Their Future will surely be so BrighT...
Thinking bk, My LiFe is Totally differenT from Them.... 6 yrs ago, aT the age of just 15, I have To go Thru so Much pain & sufferings.... Till Now... Haizz. =(
AnYway My idoL SUNYANZI also came To perForm!!!! I Miss Her so mucH.....so Long NeVer see Her Le!!!! I have been supporting her since The day she first became a singer.... and that was when I was 15 yrs old!!! I just love Her... She's got a great voice Too! I remember I used To cry when I lisTen To her songs... cuz Her songs and voice are so Touching!!......... I still remember joining Her Fan club and waiting in the pouring rain To get her auTograph... Lol... Those were The days... So... Yup I Love SunYanzi!!!! She's My favouriTe singer!! =) <3<3<3 hahas =")
Then on Sun, 26 AuG, after svc, I and my CG & W387 went To Jurong wesT church To support our member's bapTism!! Wow... so many pple came To support them.. They are so blessed. Hahas. I sTill remembered me and my sis baptism lasT Yr on 10 dec 2006....Time Flies... and only Cindy and wendy came To suport us!! HAhas... cuz our CG at that time was very small also. Those getting Baptised are Wendy, Jiaying (W387), While from N402 Were Daniel, Nicole and Gideon! wow all have New names! =) Really Happy For Them! =) After that, me, my sis and yangxuan took cab To east coast park cuz Cindy was cycling there with her Friends.
Talking abt cindy make me sad again. sigh... I Really miss her.... I sTill feel very sad that she's not my CGL anymore.... And now I don'T Really Talk Much To her Anymore... =( Haizzz.... I miss you cindy... =(
Sigh Im very sad now... going To slp le... don wanna think anYmore..... so Tired... Today had school Till 8pm.... reached home aT 10 plus... BuT Tmr no school... Yay can sleep in Le.... Hahas. I hope Everyday will be a Better Day, Will be a Day Of HoPe...... + + + +

Emo Princess

Saturday, August 25, 2007

DeaR GoD...+, SomeTimeS I ReaLLy Dread scHooL...ITs NoT I Don LiKe sTudYinG or waT buT I'm aFraiD To Face PpLe..TaTs Y Im quiTe a LoneR iN scHooL.. =( I kNOW, I looK verY DiFFerenT Frm The PasT. I know, LasT Time I'm verY skinnY aNd noW Im NoT. I ReaLLy HaTe iT. I ReaLLy HaTe mYselF Now... How I WisH I caN Go Bk To The PasT... WheN i was skinnY, everYone LoVed Me and gaVe Me More aTTenTioN. How I wisH I caN Be anoreXic aGaiN.... =(
I HaTe myseLF For Losing The conTroL and wiLLpower I once Had.
PPle ThaT know me since LasT Time aLL commenTed I look very diFFerenT...ThaT I gained weighT... oh God, I FeeL as iF a kniFe has Been sTabbed inTo mY HearT... I FeeL Like crYinG buT I held bacK mY TearS. I Forced ouT a weaK smiLe..anD PreTend Im oK.. I aLreaDy FeeL so anGrY & LouSy abT MyseLF, Now I FeeL Worse. ThaTs Y someTimes I AvoiD MeeTing Pple so ThaT I Won'T HeaR aLL The commenTs TheY wiLL saY... iT ReaLLy HurTs Me. YesT a freN said I LooK very DiFFerent..I repLied SaYinG I know ThaT, CUz Im faT Now. My Fren saiD I looK verY cuTe Now..... oh God, This SuX man...:(
Do u know How iT FeeLs like To be AshameD oF YourseLF?
Do u knoW How iT FeeLs Like To be rejecTed and negLecTed?
Do u know How iT FeeLs Like To HaVe an inner BattLe everydaY?
Do u know How iT FeeLs Like To Be AngrY aT YourseLF?
Do u KnoW hoW mucH iT HurTs To FeeL ForgoTTen bY ppLe u LoVe?
Do u knoW How mucH iT HurTs To be abused MenTally, physicaLLy, & EmoTionaLLy?
Do u Know how mucH iT HurTs wheN u FeeL aLL ALone in This worLd?
Do u know how mucH iT HurTs wheN u TotaLLy HaTe YourseLF, YouR Body?
I know, iT hurTs aLoT aLoT ALoT... cuz I go Thru Them everYday.
No One can ever feeL This PaiN Im Going Thru... This Pain can't be explained By words, iTs simpLy KiLLing Me.
Yes, Im smiLinG, BuT inside, Im Dying...
I dunno How LonG I caN carrY on, I dunno How To LeT go oF my PasT, mY hurTs.... GoD I ReaLLy need your STrengTh and LoVe To be sTronG, and keeP PressinG on....... + + + + + + +

Emo Princess

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

JusT now I wenT For Prayer Mtg at Expo... Im glad I came To pray together wiTh mY Church.... Truely, one Touch From Heaven is aLL I need.... A pastor from Korea came to preach The word, and He talked abt speaking To our Mountains..... which means the Problems, struggles, and obstacles in our LiFe. I Believe, No maTTer how Big my Mountain is, I can overcome Them...... Because My GoD is a GreaT God....+ There are many many Times when I feeL so LosT, Helpless, Forgotten By pple, unwanted and unloved by FamilY & Frens, and I FeeL so Forsaken, rejected, and I lose aLL hope.................. I ofTen wonder........"Does anyone care aT all?" BuT I received a ReveLation From God Today.....ThaT whenever I meeT a problem in mY LiFe, do Not look at My problems, but instead Look aT The DesTinY The Lord has For me.......& TrusT ThaT God wiLL take care oF Me, For Im His Precious chiLd....<3<3<3 OF cos, iTs easieR said Than done, For The deviL is ofTen attacking me...But I shall fear not, For I believe GoD has given me the Power To overcome The EnemY in mY LiFe, and no weapon Formed AgainsT Me shall Prosper!!! & "GreaTer is HE who is in ME Than He who is in The worLd"...... + + + + + + + + I really PraY wiTh aLL My HearT ThaT GoD wiLL AnoinT Me wiTh His Power, and give Me The couraGe To speak To My MounTains, and The Strength To go Thru everY sTorm iN mY LiFe......... IT is noT easy, BuT i TrusT GoD. +

Emo Princess

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

After 3 mths of Holidays, school starts again....... =) Im rather exciTed Tho im quiTe a LoNer in school :( Its already my 3rd year in NUS!!!! Time really Flies =(
Looking back, I can't Believe How I got Thru these 2 years oF Uni Life... Especially when I had to struggle with so many problems & PaiN at the same Time.
God is ReaLLy with me aLL the time......... He didn't leave me even at My DarkesT Times.....+
Every PainFuL Memory brings bk Tears.....=( JusT as BeeLeng said during CG, Pple may ForgeT me, but God will never forgeT me...... My name is already inscibed on God's palms.....
BuT, its stiLL hard for me to Forget someone in mY LiFe, ..... I guess I jusT have To Be sTrong.......... & accepT The FacT That U are no longer my CGL.....
I ReaLLy Miss U Cindy.....*Tears*~
Its Hard to Forget mY PasT Too, especially when Im oFten reminded oF iT...... BuT wat can I do? I can'T do anything......... (br> I've already cried Till there's no more Tears LefT.
Anyway, I really hope I can do well in my studies in My Last yr in NUS....& Lead someone in NUS to chrisT!!
God, I really want To do something GreaT For YoU in NUS, in mY Marketplace!! I wanT to see SchooL ReVivaL...........+ I wanT To Make a DiFFerence...... :)
+ GoD, I reaLLy need Your Strength, Your Anointing, Your wisdoM To carry Me Thru every single Day oF my LiFe.....+ + + +

Emo Princess

This is the first time I create a blog... LOL.. I know, Im really behind time... Hahas. I used to think Blogs are useless buT now I don'T. I can use This blog To express aLL my FeeLings, aLL my emoTions... instead oF keeping My problems To myseLF. This blog is The one ThaT is Going To Be wiTh me during My DarkesT Times, mY LoNely days, Thru Tears and Joy......Thru HurTs and Pain, Thru good & bad Times..... This is where I tell my DarkesT secreTs... so that I won'T FeeL so aLone.....+ But the only Thing is that my Blog can'T TaLk To me.......iT can onLy LisTen...Hahas. SiGh.... so Near, YeT so Far from the pple arounD me..... :(

Emo Princess